Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hmmmm

It's been a crazy couple of weeks here in OH. We've travelled for the past 2 weekends to KY... one weekend to move the rest of the random "stuff" out of our first home (So bittersweet, how hard it was to see friends and those special people who adopted us as "newlyweds" so far from both of our families!) The house closes this upcoming week...in a way I'm glad, but I know for a fact that we will never return to that beautiful home. Then this past weekend we drove in to visit my family. So relaxing, and so much needed. It's so funny, my 'sissy' has turned into Mikey's Aunt Sexy.

Tonight I checked a blog of one of my college friends, and there popping out of the page where 2 pink lines. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for them, but my heart is heavy as well. Their first son is exactly 1 wk older than Mikey.... and now they get to add another. It's just not happening for us. I know that God is saying 'not right now', but dangit, I'm impatient. I know that He knows what's best for our family, and that it's not happening right now for a reason, but sometimes, I feel like it's my fault... maybe I'm not a good enough mom, maybe I'm too selfish, maybe I'm not a good enough house keeper....? If only there wheren't so many what if's....Am I the only one that feels this way?

I'm getting excited... there was no way that I could bring myself to spend a good chunk of change on The Women of Faith conference coming to town this coming weekend, instead, I'm going to volunteer for it :) I get to go to the conference now!!! My soul needs it!!

I'm in the middle of The Great Toy Ridance Spring event, so I need to go put a boy to bed so that I may continue w/o a little boy declaring that every toy that he has not even so much as looked at in a while is his favorite, and that he must keep it!! Good night my friends!